The Problem of SHOULD
If you've been following what's going on with SARK & her partner John, then it will come as no surprise that there is a lot of life evaluation going on over here, with me personally, and within my business, Inspired Income.
It's a shame in some ways that it takes something so dramatic to be a catalyst for taking stock. At the same time, there's a simple pleasure in simply enjoying the life "as it is" also that keeps us from looking too hard, when everything seems "fine." We humans are physiologically programmed to focus on surviving - not thriving. It takes cause & intention to keep the "aliveness" in life.
I want to be perfectly clear that I know that I have a wonderful life. I believe that I do experience aliveness and full self-expression far more often than the average human. I wake up most mornings truly happy and content.
Something wonderful happened in my life - and it was also the source of something negative that had gone unseen until recently...
I moved in with my fiance about a year ago - into his big, expensive home in a neighborhood where we are far, far, far from the "most successful," or "most financially well off" family.
I recently realized that I've been looking at these other people - what they have, what they've accomplished - and judging myself & them. Me for being not enough, and them for being too much.
All this judgement has created a long list of "shoulds" that are robbing me of aliveness!!!
Here are some of my shoulds:
- I should have a book written and published by now
- I should have more money saved and in the bank
- I should have a bigger business
- I should be more well-known
- I should have more friends
- I should weigh less
Those are just a few... there are more, I promise!
Seeing them is one thing, but getting the impact is where one gets real power. And I realized that these shoulds have cost me much of the joy in my business. They've caused me to go in directions not in alignment with my truth & integrity.
I started my business so that I could have the freedom to only work with people that I wanted too - and to have a LIFE that was more than work (after having been in the corporate world and working 70-80 hours a week!). Not to make a million dollars, nor to even be "famous."
Through this self-evaluation period, I've come to realize - or maybe remember - that I don't judge my personal success my how much money I'm making. I judge my personal success by how much HAPPINESS and FULFILLMENT I experience daily.
And an interesting realization arose: I do want to be known - I do want to make a bigger impact that the one I have been making with my business. One bigger than the one my original reason for creating this business makes possible.
Since I'm not prone to regret, I won't say that I regret any part of this journey. I'm grateful to have the personal power to see these shoulds and to take 100% Responsibility for shifting my life.
And that's what I want for you. The personal power to create exactly the kind of life that you truly desire - a life full of ALIVENESS, not just survival. My particular gifts & talents are to empower you to experience Aliveness in your vocation, your career, your business, and I'm grateful that I have these talents and that you allow me to share them with you.
My Invitation To You
I invite you to take a minute now to explore what shoulds are at work in your life.
If there is an area of life where you are dissatisfied or unfulfilled, there is some underlying SHOULD happening there...
Just imagine for one moment if everything were absolutely perfect exactly as it is (including YOU!) and you shouldn't do or be anything other than you are right now, how would that change your experience of life? What would you do differently? What would you stop chasing - or start taking on?
I'd love to hear from you in the comments below, and I can guarantee you that this is not the last you will hear from me on this topic. I'm realizing just how important it is to our success - in life and in business.
With MUCH LOVE for your perfect, exactly as you are, Self!